Prometheus

Once a day, Monday through Friday, I go to the mailroom supply cabinet, and I grab a fistful of pens and shove them in my pockets. Then after work as I go about my life, I distribute the pens as I see fit. Sometimes I will place a few pens into the outstretched hands of a vagrant. Sometimes I will attach a second pen to the little pen chain at the bank.

Sometimes I will toss a couple of pens from the window of my moving car. Should I then be stopped and given a citation for littering, I open my glove compartment and dig through the mass of pens to retrieve my registration. If I’m not running late for work, I might open my center console, grab a pen, and offer it to the police officer. When they pull out their little notebook to write a citation I’ll proffer it to them with a kind smile, and often times they decide a citation really isn’t necessary.

At this point I suspect I’m responsible for nearly every UniBall Vision Elite in the county, and I’m sure some have made it to the surrounding area. I imagine a day where everyone has a quality ball-point pen within reach whenever they may need it. No one will necessarily know that it’s because of me, but that’s not why I do it. No, like Prometheus or Robin Hood, I’ve just been handed the unique opportunity to correct an injustice.

All this is to say: yes, regarding your initial query, I have been taking office supplies off premises. While it’s unfortunate that this has been an inconvenience for the Office Administrator, I think you’ll understand why I don’t feel that it’s necessary for me to apologize.